Welcome to the souls that sparkle! 

"Kindness is up to me."



… Such a simple phrase that has come to mean so much to me.


It wasn't always that simple. I'll start from the beginning…


I grew up with a Mom that was a great example of kindness. My sister and I were exposed to the idea of always assuming that people have the best intentions… something I have carried with me in my life. We carried with us lessons to help others when we are able and being kind goes a long way. Being kind to others was second nature and I'm so grateful for these gifts.


The part that I had forgotten about, was being kind to myself.


Sometimes the downside of being kind to others is, (when not careful) boundaries can become fuzzy and often I would say yes to things at the expense of myself. I am not sure if I am the only one but I just kept giving and giving without thinking about the consequences.


This pattern built up over the years until 2019 I was at breaking point. I was exhausted. I was not myself. I really didn't have much to offer anyone else.


I had just gone through a year of supporting John with his cancer treatments. I was running the business from the hospital and so many plates were in the air. The couple years after cancer were pretty bad as well. John had changed so much during his treatments... I thought about writing a book, "If you can survive a year after a cancer free report you can survive anything."


I ended up deciding to go to a retreat where I knew one of the speakers… this retreat changed my life. We did a yoga class and she asked us to breathe out with our bellies instead of sucking in and gave permission to take up more space in the room. I was so moved by this experience as I thought of how long it had been that I had been on a hamster wheel doing so many important things, and how tired I was… and how little I thought about thinking about what I wanted… what my body wanted. How long had I played small to not bother anyone. How long I had shrunk. Cancer, kids growing up, growing a business, working with my spouse and not always being on the same page… It felt like so much weight.


We did an exercise where we held a mirror and gave gratitude to ourselves… I wasn't able to do it… I just froze. She talked us through it saying things like "thank your body for how much it has kept up with you… All of your body parts that have been consistent in doing whatever you have asked… Your feet for always carrying you, your back for supporting you, your brain…just say thank you".


As I looked in the mirror all I could do was cry. It had been so long since I had looked at myself and talked to it with kindness. It had been so long that I almost forgot who the person in the mirror was.


Over that retreat I allowed myself to just receive love. I didn't worry about taking care of anyone. I didn't focus on making sure everyone is all right. I just focused on being around a group of amazing people that were there willing and able to fill my cup. The last night of the retreat we dressed up in anything silly we could find and just danced under the stars. This picture was taken the last night and when I look at this picture I remember how liberated I felt. Claiming myself back… Remembering her.


I left the retreat making a promise to myself. I promised that I wouldn't forget to take care of myself first… And then joyfully take care of others… From a filled up cup instead of nothing left to give.


I wear a bracelet that says "Be Kind" and wear it facing me so I can read it. Many people ask me what it says and when they read "be kind" , they instantly think of being a kind person to others and so I take the time to tell my story…



This bracelet reminds me to be kind to myself….

Kindness to myself feels like…

-giving myself grace

-taking a breath

-remembering that perfection isn't needed

-watching the rain… or any mature

-not rushing to do the next thing

sitting in stillness

-taking a coloring break in the middle of the day

-playing music

-listening to positive messages

-talking nicely to myself with my internal dialog

-having a sweet conversation with someone I love

-enjoying a simple cup of coffee on my lawn chair with no phone.


I have enjoyed giving these bracelets out over the last few years and I really enjoy seeing someone still wear it when I see them later. My hope is that they are reminded how awesome they are and remember we are all doing the best we can.


Every once in a while I will hear a friend say something negative about themselves out loud and I will usually say, "don't talk to my friend like that"... Their faces usually soften and smile as they realize what they just said was not something they would ever say to a friend yet said it to themselves…

They get a bracelet too. 😘


This beautiful "be kind" reminder has become such a special part of my life. It has allowed me the opportunity to grow without fear of mistakes. It has allowed me to give myself grace when I am hard on myself. It has allowed me the path of compassion for myself. It has allowed me to accept help and to listen to my body… and be ok with changing my mind, even if I already said I would go to an event. It has allowed me to take the time for myself to go away to retreats and process next steps in a loving environment, away from the hustle and bustle of life… going home more refreshed than ever. It has allowed my business to flourish because I take the time to refuel often. It has allowed me the space to have a better relationship with my loved ones because I am different showing up.


Be Kind… Kindness to others… AND to myself.


Until next time my friends!

~XOXO Tamara Chase



P.S.

Oh my goodness… Speaking of kindness… I am blown away at y'alls feedback to me… thank you for sending me notes about what you take away from these blogs… And what it brought up in you. I love you so very much and am so happy to be in your life.

My kindness bracelets!! 👏🤟

Me at the retreat that changed my prospective 🥹 💗

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